Woman confronts coworker who keeps leaving his 2 toddlers with her: 'When I confront him he says... he needs to concentrate'

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Jun 1, 2025 11:00 AM EDT

Don't be like this coworker. Leave your personal life at home! 

Everyone has stuff going on in their lives. Every single person you see has a family life, a work life, friends, hobbies, and plenty of responsibilities. It's all well and good to mention your kids to your coworkers, or tell them a little bit about how you're helping your parents while their health is poor, but at the end of the day, your coworkers just don't have the capacity to care about these things as much as you. They may offer sympathy when you tell them that your toddler kept you up all night, but they also still need help with that giant workload you're sharing. It's a delicate balance, and it varies greatly between workplaces. 

This person has some serious resentment building towards her coworker who has gone through some terrible life circumstances, but has made it her responsibility to watch his toddlers all day. Commenters had good advice for them: check it all out below. 

Next, read some family drama about the niece who kicked her entitled aunt out of their family home after the aunt insulted her late mother: "Are you sure you don't need ANYTHING from me?"

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  • 01

    "AITA complaining about my coworker bringing his toddlers office?"

    My office reopened a few weeks ago. One of my co-workers has 2 toddlers and he lost his wife during the pademic. They were a two income family and he told me that they were struggling a bit financially. especially after all the medical bills prior to his wife's death (may she rest in peace).
    via u/justwantedtoexplore
  • 02
    Due to på demic, our office layout has changed and everyone required to come to office were given rooms to use instead of the cubicles we usually use. When my coworker requested in the team meeting to be allowed to bring his kids to work, none of us objected. We were sure that he would get a big office and it would not disturb us.
    via u/justwantedtoexplore
  • 03
    I work in a male dominated field and there are only 3 female employees and I am the only one in our floor. My coworker constantly leaves his children with me for hours. I feel like I am doing more babysitting than my actual job. He doesn't even ask permission. he just asks the kids to go to my office. The kid just says "my dad asked me and my
    via u/justwantedtoexplore
  • 04
    brother to stay with you". When I confront him he says that he is in a meeting or he needs to concentrate etc. The last straw for me was when I found out that he left the kids with me and had gone out for lunch with few of his office friends. I went to HR and complained about this.
    via u/justwantedtoexplore
  • 05
    He confronted me and told me that because of my complaint he was told by the HR that he can work from home if he wants but he cannot bring his children to work anymore. He said that only reason he went to lunch was to gel more with the manager so that he is on their good side and to make sure that he will recieve hikes/bonus/promotion.
    via u/justwantedtoexplore
  • 06
    He said that he would never be able to finish his work, hit his targets and get bonuses if he works from home and he is gonna lose a lot of money with babycare if h decides to come to the office (he is not wrong. It is ver hard and slow to wfh. work gets done much easier and faster from office).
    via u/justwantedtoexplore
  • 07
    Now, everyone (edit: except my team and manager) are pred at me for complaining against a struggling father and grieving widower. AITA for directly going to the HR?
    via u/justwantedtoexplore
  • 08
    I requested him several times not to send his kids to my office unannounced. But I never warned him that I would go to HR if he kept it up.
    via u/justwantedtoexplore
  • 09
    Edit: For the sake of transparency, he has never lied to me. He does send his kids only when he has important meetings or deadlines. He is more client focused, so he has more meetings than me. My work is more internal and I rarely have meetings. His manager is known for taking it personally if people do not attend outside office activites such as lunches or dinners or weekend potlucks etc (he labels such people as "poor team players").
    via u/justwantedtoexplore
  • 10

    Commenters told this person that despite the sad circumstances, this shouldn't be her issue to deal with

    [deleted] ΝΤΑ You're not a babysitting service. It's especially insulting being left with the kids as a female. While his situation is unfortunate, it's not your responsibility to fix.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 11
    Jedi_Mind_Chick NTA. He has absolutely no business sending his children to your office w/o permission, as if you don't. have work to do, yourself. If you told him to stop multiple times, you had every right to go to HR. It's disturbing your work and is unprofessional. He needs to find child care.
    via u/Jedi_Mind_Chick
  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10512194304
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 13
    NiteGrimwood NTA "I understand that you are having a hard time but I am not your female replacement for watching your kids, do it yourself." Id. go to HR as well because this is not ok.
    via u/NiteGrimwood
  • 14
    ForzaA84 Ok, I was absolutely ready to call you the AH based on the first two paragraphs.... But then the actual issue showed up - it's not that he brings his kids, it's that he dumps his kids on you.
    via u/ForzaA84
  • 15
    Going to HR is absolutely the right call. What would happen if, god forbid, one of them had gotten into any sort of trouble (pulled a cable and got a shock, something dropped on them) while they were either "on their way" to you, or in your "care" (that you neither agreed to, nor, presumably, trained for) NTA
    via u/ForzaA84
  • 16
    (there's also the obvious. issue of your work being significantly impacted that you need to CYA for, but even without that...)
    via u/ForzaA84
  • 17
    Cheezburger Image 10512194560
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 18
    Academic_Sno... NTA this is sexism in action - why didn't he leave his kids with his male coworkers?? Because: Sexism. 1. He did not ask you. He assumed. 2. He did not even tell you. He acted entitled. -
    via u/Academic_Snow_7680
  • 19
    3. You are not paid to be his babysitter. He never acknowledged to your workplace that you were helping him out. 4. He sabotaged your job by dumping his kids on you. He valued himself more than you BECAUSE YOU ARE A WOMAN. 5. He did all of this because you are a woman.
    via u/Academic_Snow_7680
  • 20
    This just showed the double standard and sexism at this workplace. If I were you I'd get myself a (female) labor- lawyer to guard your best interest. Do not accept this. Ask your coworkers why they didn't take care of his kids. Ask them if they would have liked to be dumped on like you were. Ask them why you specifically were targeted.
    via u/Academic_Snow_7680
  • 21
    Ask why you should let your job and the company suffer in order to help him out when nobody else was doing that. Play hardball.
    via u/Academic_Snow_7680

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